Saturday, July 29, 2006

List-o-mania

1. Copy this list into your blog/bulletin board.
2. Mark the things that are true with bold writing.
3. Keep what isn’t true in regular writing.
4. Add something of your own at the end.

001. I miss someone right now.
002. I watch more TV than I used to.
003. I love olives.
004. I love to sleep.
005. I own the apartment I live in.
006. I wear contacts/glasses.
007. I love pc games/Nintendo/PlayStation/Game Boy.
008. I’ve broken the law.
009. I’ve watched porn movies.
010. I have sexual experiences I don’t dare say out loud...
011. I am someone’s psycho ex-girlfriend.
012. I like my handwriting.
013. I have flawless skin.
014. I like Good ’n Plenty.
015. I curse daily/often.

016. I’ve changed a lot inside the past year.
017. I have a hobby.
018. I have been to another continent.

019. I always carry a knife/razor blade.
020. I am incredibly smart.
021. I have never broken anything on another human.
022. I have one or more secrets that I dare not reveal.
023. I love the rain.
024. I am paranoid at times.

025. I am for plastic surgery.
026. I need money right now (who’d say no to money?).
027. I love sushi.
028. At times, I speak very fast.
029. I never have morning breath.
030. I have long hair.
031. I’ve gambled away money in Las Vegas.
032. I have lost a sibling.
033. I was born abroad.
034. I shave/wax my legs.
035. I have a twin.
036. I can’t survive without my cell.
037. I am happy with the way I look.
038. I’ve told a good friend lies during the past six months.
039. I can make a 3-course dinner from scratch.
040. I am naturally pessimistic.
041. I have mood swings.
042. I think prostitution should be legalized.
043. I think Britney Spears is beautiful.
044. I'm a shoeholic.
045. I have a hidden talent.
046. I am almost always super energetic; no matter how much sugar I’ve eaten.
047. I’ve had sex with less than ten people.
048. I am currently single.
049. I’ve made out with a boy.
050. I like talking on the phone.
051. I practically live in my sweats.
052. I love shopping.
053. I prefer shopping over eating.
054. I come from a simple background.
055. I am a little extravagant.
056. I’m obsessed with my MySpace.
057. I hate no one.
058. I am a good dancer.
059. I think Michael Jackson is innocent.
060. I’m embarrassed to be seen in public with my mum.
061. I'm married/engaged.
062. I watch MTV daily.
063. I’ve been so drunk I’ve blacked out during the past six months.
064. I’ve never had a long-term relationship.
065. I’ve rejected/turned down someone who claimed to love me.
066. I’m in love right now.

067. I don’t know what to do with the rest of my life.
068. I want children (someday, not right at this very moment).
069. I’ve changed diapers at least once.

070. I’ve been chased by the police.
071. I bite my nails.
072. I’m member of a fan club.
073. I am not hyper allergic to anything.
074. I have a lot left to learn.
075. I’ve dated someone 10 years older than me .
076. I own the Star Wars trilogy.
077. I am very shy around the opposite sex.
078. I’m online 24/7.
079. I have at least five text messages on my mobile that I’ll never erase.
080. I’ve been rejected by someone I was in love with/loved.
081. I’ve tried to hit on a friend’s boy-/girlfriend.
082. I own the South Park movie.
083. I am online even during working hours.
084. I had an invisible friend when I was little.
085. I like country music.
086. I love my friends.

087. I think ham&cheese is the best pizza topping.
088. I love soaps (i.e. Days of Our Lives, Bold and the Beautiful).
089. I’m easily obsessed with things (people).
090. I am a blonde.
091. I love celebrity gossip and scandals.
092. I know the lyrics to a song I hate by heart.
093. I love Halloween.
094. I watch Eurovision Song Contest, and I’m proud of it.
095. I’ve dated my best friend’s ex.
096. I am happy right now.
097. I love scuba diving.
098. I’ve been obsessed with someone I’ve never met.
099. Less is usually more.
100. I can play an instrument.
101. I hate maths.
102. I always procrastinate.
103. I’ve a library card - and I use it.
104. I lust for someone more than I love someone.
105. I think Cheeze Doodles rock.
106. I think Lord of the Rings is the best ever.
107. I am addicted to Lost.
108. I thought it was a drag growing up.
109. My personality changes depending on who I’m with.
110. I think they world would be a better place if people smiled more often.
111. I love chicken.

112. I have a broken heart.
113. I am a dork.
114. I feel lonely – both alone and with someone.
115. I’m left-handed and proud of it.
116. I never try to change for someone else’s sake.
117. I see the glass as half empty, and not half full.
118. I’ve had one night stands.
119. I like smoothies.
120. I’ve undergone an operation.
121. I have adopted a pet.
122. I’m currently listening to Radiohead.
123. I have one or more pet names.
124. I’ve stolen a favourite CD.
125. I like pumpkin pai.
126. I can put my favourite song on repeat for days.
127. I own more than 200 CD’s.
128. I work every day of the week.
129. I own a lot of gadgets.
130. I change my mind a lot.
131. I’m often told my sense of humour sucks.
132. I’m still in my pj’s.
133. I look for love in all the wrong places.
134. I keep falling in love with persons who don’t feel the same for me.
135. I’m willing to try anything trice.
136. I’ve tried stronger drugs than cigarettes and alcohol.
137. I have troubles sleeping.
138. I love cuddling.
139. I like Ed Wood-movies.
140. I’ve been in an amateur-porn movie.
141. Sloth is my favourite sin.
142. My boobs are of different size, and no one else knows.
143. I know Hail Mary by heart.
144. I love everything that has to do with Buffy and Angel.
145. I love to comfort eat.
146. I believe in God.
147. I am conservative.
148. I can walk quickly for a mile without collapsing.
149. I have a higher education.
150. I like to cook.
151. I hate vacuuming.
152. I’m hooked on photography.
153. I’ve been in a musical.
154. I pretty much get along with my parents.
155. I like Shakespeare.
156. I like to sing.

157. I drink a lot of soda.
158. I withhold things to keep from hurting others.
159. I am not mainstream when it comes to religion.
160. I usually have a countdown for the summer holidays.
161. I’ve embarrassed myself playing ”truth or dare” at a party.
162. I often challenge others.
163. I have cauliflower toes.
164. I like clothes with childish prints.
165. I’ve been to a cartoon festival.
166. I’m constantly daydreaming.
167. I’m hooked on role playing.
168. I might consider giving birth without painkillers.
169. I own more than three items of clothing that should never be worn in daylight.
170. I read fanatically religious blogs for a laugh.
171. I hate driving.
172. I’m out of work, but I prefer sitting on my arse being lazy to finding an interesting job.
173. I come from such a conservative/religious family that I’ve chosen to keep big parts of m life hidden from my relatives.
174. I like older guys.
175. I had a happy childhood.

176. I’m obsessed with celebrities.
177. I’m an only child .
178. I own more than five skin care products.
179. I’m more social online than in real life.
180. I actually like my job.
181. I like animals.
182. I like writing letters.
183. I’m open to try new things that have to do with sex.
184. I bruise easily.
185. I like staying up all night, and sleeping all day.

186. I have two children born in the same month.
187. I like the taste of blood.
188. I can’t swim.
189. I know how to fire a rifle/gun.
190. I’m pregnant right now.
191. I’ve travelled abroad without my parents knowing it before I was 18.
192. I have gone through a natural childbirth.
193. I love Sex and the City.
194. I have physical pains right now.
195. I’ve been late for work because my car snowed in.
196. I’m looking for a job I actually like.
197. I have an obsession with at least one thing.

198. I’m having/I have a child named after a sci-fi character.
199. I have a pet with a weird name.
200. I wear make-up daily.
201. I hardly ever sunbathe.

202. I still have a hobby I’ve had since I was little.
203. I can’t stand my family.
204. I love weird comedy shows on TV.
205. I’ve knitted at least one thing for my boy-/girlfriend.
206. I own a picture/sculpture by a famous artist.
207. I’ve lied on some of the statements on this list.
208. I’m a member of a secret club, and proud of it.
209. I hate Hello Kitty.
210. I have an obsession with words.
211. I think life’s full of strange things.
212. I love coffee.
213. I’ve done things I’m not proud of.
214. I love Martha Stewart.
215. I only own a white bra.
216. I like dancing around naked at home.
217. I think Charlotte Brontë was a terrible writer.
218. I have paper cuts on my fingers right now.
219. Gay men turn me on.
220. I’ve played with finger-paint in a sexual way.
221. I’ve wolfed down a big bag of candy.
222. I can’t handle being sober.
223. I think life imitates art.
224. I live in an area that can scare the crap out of people.
225. I know too much about something kinky.
226. I’ve gone shopping in boots and not much else.
227. I’ve read Gone with the Wind several times.
228. I love bananas.
229. I’m both excited and nervous about the future.
230. I have the high score on at least one PlayStation game or others.
231. I really think this list thing is ridiculous, and should have been doing something entirely more sensible instead.
232. I’m mad about palindromes.
233. I am a hopeless romantic.
234. I am a new age-person and proud of it.
235. I’m hooked on downloading music.
236. I just found out there aren’t eight days in a week.
237. I love remixes.
238. I love Bob the Builder and I’m proud of it.
239. I’ve not done something important to do this list-thing.
240. I can never just stop by a bookstore without coming out with at least two books.
242. Getting a parking ticket makes me lose my mind.
243. I can eat a raw egg without throwing up.
244. I’m against the winter.
244. I’m tired right now.
245. Kleenex’s are God’s gift to sick people.
246. I wish I could speak French fluently.
247. I have a little brother for sale.
248. I want to be a bohemian when I grow up.
249. I love vinyl records.
250. I’m right-handed and proud of it.
251. I have a bone to pick with a certain person right now.
252. I believe in angels.
253. I’ve once slept more than 14 hours.
254. I loved horses when I was little.
255. I want to travel right now!
256. I’ve had plastic surgery.
257. I know who Astor Piazolla was.
258. I have an old car that’s costing me a ton to maintain.
259. I have high ambitions.
260. I fold my toilet paper like they do in hotels.
261. Johnny Depp is the hottest celebrity around.
262. I’d love to be a hippie.
263. Oh Mercy is Bob Dylan’s best album...
264. ... And Time Out of Mind is EVEN better.
265. There have never been as many hot guys in the city as it was during Gay Pride week.
266. I’m a mama’s boy/girl.
267. I’m me and no one else!
268. I’m addicted to music.

269. I HAVE to go out every weekend.
270. I love to work out!
271. I dream of winning the lottery daily.
272. I have children.
273. I earn more than 500 000 NOK a year.
274. I haven’t had sex for over two months.
275. I’ve given up hope on love.
276. I… eeh, don’t know what to write here.
277. I’ve not put one statement in bold writing because I’m chicken.
278. I love the 50's style.
279. I have more than 100 people on my MSN list.
280. I’ve lived in Japan.
281. I have kids that at times are for sale.
282. I’m God’s gift to the opposite sex.
283. I’m hooked on TV-shows.
284. I’m a teeny bit materialistic.
285. I have a bunch of stuffed animals in my home.
286. I am (a tad) perfectionist.
287. I love Grey’s Anatomy.
288. I hate spelling mistakes.
289. I adore Marilyn Monroe.

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Politically Correct Ways to Describe Men's Faults

He does not have a BEER GUT. He has developed a LIQUID GRAINSTORAGE FACILITY.

He is not a BAD DANCER. He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.

He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME. He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.

He is not BALDING. He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

He is not a CRADLE ROBBER. He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.

He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK. He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.

He does not act like a TOTAL ASS. He develops a case of RECTAL-ANALINVERSION.

He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG. He has SWINE EMPATHY.

He is not afraid of COMMITMENT. He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.

He does not UNDRESS YOU WITH HIS EYES. He has an INTROSPECTIVEGRAPHIC MOMENT.

Visas and permits = stress

As my readers (all two of ye! lol) would know, I'm getting married next year.. no date is yet set, so I am still not sure whether to panic or to breathe easy. I do know that I need to stress a little, especially since my country has a completely stupid policy on "international" marriages. It seems no matter what we chose to do, my fiancé have to apply for a visa to stay here. It takes about 6 - 7 months just to get an answer on your application, but once you get it you can stay here for 6 months. You are only eligible for a purely residential visa, and once we are married he will again have to apply for a work permit. Thankfully, he is allowed to stay in the country whilst his application is being processed. In addition to all this, I think - I'm not sure - we need some sort of paper to prove that he is allowed to stay here when we get married, but I'm hoping that's just a copy of his approved visa. And there is no end to the trail of paper work, because we also naturally need a marriagelicensee, I need a form to fill out to have my last name changed. I'm not entirely sure if I need that before or after we get married though. Then you have to send a copy of your marriage certificate and that name-change form to a whole bunch of places that will require my new last name, such as my bank in order to give me new cards, I need a new passport with my new last name, my insurance company will need it too, naturally my job needs to be notified, and then you have stuff like my doctor, dentist, my network company for my mobile, my electricity company, my internet provider (once I get internet access) and my 'landlord'. Well, those things go by quickly... it's more the visa thingie I'm stressing about now. I want him to come here as soon as he can, and I worry about the visa thingie mostly because I don't know how to go about it. I'm not sure which questions to ask, so I can't call and pick their brains about it either. Apparently, he can't just come over here and we'll get married and that's it... they'll probably mark us as a "pro forma" marriage if we do, which means they believe we only got married so that he could stay in the country. I would rather not have that happen, so having the paperwork in order is a good thing. Only it is sooo much paperwork... and only a few things of it that I understand! I am not liking it... I'm good when I understand it, so I know how to handle it. I'm gonna write them an email... or a letter, maybe..? I'll be keeping y'all updated! lol