Politically Correct Ways to Describe Men's Faults

He does not have a BEER GUT. He has developed a LIQUID GRAINSTORAGE FACILITY.

He is not a BAD DANCER. He is OVERLY CAUCASIAN.

He does not GET LOST ALL THE TIME. He INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS.

He is not BALDING. He is in FOLLICLE REGRESSION.

He is not a CRADLE ROBBER. He prefers GENERATIONALLY DIFFERENTIAL RELATIONSHIPS.

He does not get FALLING-DOWN DRUNK. He becomes ACCIDENTALLY HORIZONTAL.

He does not act like a TOTAL ASS. He develops a case of RECTAL-ANALINVERSION.

He is not a MALE CHAUVINIST PIG. He has SWINE EMPATHY.

He is not afraid of COMMITMENT. He is MONOGAMOUSLY CHALLENGED.

He does not UNDRESS YOU WITH HIS EYES. He has an INTROSPECTIVEGRAPHIC MOMENT.