You and I - part 7

He stands still, biting his lower lip. Tears are high in his eyes, threatening to drown them in lakes of salty water. His gaze is fixed on her, seeing nothing but her. She wears all white, and when the light from the open doors reach her, it casts a halo of light all around her. As if she glows. Her smile warms him more than the sun ever have done, her beautiful eyes shining and glittering like stars on a midnight sky. He can still see the colour of her eyes even behind the veil she wears. Finally, she reaches him and he takes a step toward her. Her father smiles lovingly at them both, and he takes her hand in his. Behind her veil, tears slowly tumble down her cheeks but she smiles so radiantly at him.
"I love you, angel..." he whispers, their fingers laced together. She virutally beams, seemingly lighting the whole room with her glow.
"I love you, too..." she whispers back, and tears glitter in his eyes. They turn to face the vicar, and he smiles at them. He motions to the congregation, and they obey his simple gesture. "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today..." he says, his voice ringing out in the room.

She sleeps peacefully, a smile plays on her lips. He lays next to her, completely mesmerized by her, unable to look away from her pretty face. She stirs slightly, sighing in her sleep. Her dreams are pleasant, he can tell just by looking at her. Unable to help himself, he reaches out and gently strokes her cheek. She smiles in her sleep, turning into him. Even in her sleep, she needs to be close to him. He smiles, resting his arms around her. Her breath is warm against his skin when she rests her head on his chest. Holding her tight, he looks up at the ceiling and sends his thanks to everything holy he can think of for her. For sending her to him. He falls asleep, holding her tightly, his dreams lost among the stars.

She awakes before him, still cradled in his arms so safely. He sleeps so soundly, and she lightly kiss his cheek. The early morning sunshine tumbles into their room, lighting it with a warm glow. Her arm slides across his stomach, and she snuggles closer. This is happiness, she thinks as her eyes close, this is being fulfilled.

THE END

Have you ever...?

Have you ever had that feeling where you've finally come to accept the person in the mirror as someone beautiful and unique..? Have you ever had that feeling because of someone else? Someone who loves you deeply enough to make you see that you are beautiful. Someone whose love for you is strong enough to hold you up if you feel like you've lost your footing. If you've ever felt like I have done before, and you have that someone now, you will know what I mean.

I was never the most popular girl in class, I didn't get my first kiss when I was 7 behind the monkey bars in the playground. I was the quiet one, the one who never really spoke up in class. I was shy and blushed if the teacher called on me in class. As I grew older, the more I looked at my reflection, the more I wondered who could ever come to love what I saw?

When I was 15, I met a guy online.. he seemed really nice, and as time went by I thought that maybe I had been wrong. Maybe someone could love me.
About five years later, I realise I've been deceived; this guy has known all about me, but he has told me only a minimum about himself. It isn't until I actually physically meet him that I see for myself he's been pulling the wool over my eyes for all those years. The very moment I see him, I know that there was never love involved. Certainly not from my point of view. As I look at him, it's crystal clear to me that I have been tricked into thinking I loved him. For all those years, he has been elusive and cleverly avoided giving me any more than the most necessary "need-to-know" pieces of information about himself. During my stay, something happens that awakens the loathing in me. During and after this episode, I completely stop having any sort of emotion for him except something that's bordering hatred.
When I break it off in a mass of tears and arguing (tears from him, anger from me), it feels as if I'm free. I can do what I want, say what I want and hang out with whomever I want.

He is still hounding me with hourlong pointless phonecalls when I again meet someone online. Right away I can tell this guy is different; he tells me about himself and his life. He tells me about his past, which hasn't been rosy when it comes to love. I tell him what happened to me, and the more we talk the stronger the bond we have built feels. It's like I've known him for years. Unlike the other one, he sends me his picture and apologises for not sending it sooner. Three weeks is much sooner than never sending me one at all. He is charming and fun and good-looking, and needless to say; I fall in love.
Just under 9 months later, I meet him when I'm on vacation with a friend. The moment I see him, butterflies are soaring in my stomach and I can't stop smiling. This is so unlike what I have experienced before, and I know that it's love. It feels so freeing to walk beside him, knowing everything about him and him knowing everything about me. It feels wonderful to walk around feeling beautiful because of someone else.
Very recently, my beloved made my dreams come true when he very sweetly proposed to me over MSN. I do realise some people might be wondering why the hell he'd do it like that, but since we met online it was the sweetest thing to do! :o) I am being told however, that there will be another proposal when I come to see him during Easter. (And yes - the waterproof mascara is already on my packing list!) I cannot believe that I have this amazing man, someone who loves me as much as he does. I have someone whom I love more than anything, someone who makes me feel as if I can reach up and pick the stars from the sky.
Now, because of my wonderful fiancé, when I look in the mirror, I might not be perfectly at peace with all of me, but I recognise the beauty that I too have in me.

Thank you, honey... you're the bestest! :o)

Return to blonde... again

Right, so last time I went to the hairdresser, I didn't quite end up with the "Marilyn locks" I had imagined. Seeing as my hair is slightly darker blonde, it ended up more of a bronze-like blonde. It was rather nice, only I wanted blonde-blonde! lol So this Saturday, it's off to the hair salon we go.. and this time, I will be blonde! Dammit, I've made my mind up, and they will make me the blonde I really am! :o) I mean.. right now, I kinda look bad, because I'm darker on top and blonder at the ends. I've not had time to colour it after I was at the salon last. ("Poor innocent me. And all this time I thought you were a bona fide blonde.") Thankfully, winter is the time to wear hats or your hoodies up! ;o) I suppose I'm not actually a proper blonde.. I do "fake it". Only the hair colour, mind you..! The blonde moments of complete stupidity are all mine! lol

Anywhoo... on Saturday in the AM, I will be feeling the blondness seeping back into me, by way of hair dye! ;o) I feel better when my hair's done... like I'm allowed to act dumb and to snigger secretly at those who do believe I'm actually a proper dumb blonde. I do believe Dolly Parton said it best: "I'm not offended by those dumb blonde jokes. I know I'm not dumb, and I know I'm not blonde". That's a right classic! ;o)

And for those of you daring now to think of me as nothing less than a "halfblood blonde", maybe making wisecracks at me not being a natural blonde as one man once foolishly did, I tell you what Miss Monroe told him ...

"I am. But nobody's that natural. And incidentally, fuck you."

;o)